In his book, Emotional Intelligence 1997, Daniel Goleman suggests that “Emotionally aware individuals know how to manage their feelings in order to communicate in a positive, appropriate and supportive way ….. they are good listeners, sensitive to other peoples’ points of view and are able to understand and cope with other peoples’ feelings.”
Many children, and indeed adults, experience difficulty in understanding and expressing their emotions in appropriate ways. This can result in their behaviours being misinterpreted, with a resulting downward spiral in their relationships with their families and schools. For example, if a child feels a strong, negative emotion, they may think that they are angry and therefore act in an angry, aggressive way. They are then often blamed and punished for their behaviour. However, if they are helped to understand that they feel frightened, sad, or guilty rather than angry then they will act differently and their behaviour will be judged and responded to in a very different way.
Through our emotional literacy work at Puzzle, we provide training for schools on how to raise children’s emotional literacy in order to help break the pattern of misunderstanding and negative interactions, resulting in a more positive and successful school experience. We also undertake individual work with children which aims to help them understand their different feelings and name them appropriately, which in turn influences the ways in which adults and peers respond to them.